


Street Art Date Night

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: White Collar
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Episode Tag, Episode: s03e08 As You Were, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Modern Art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 08:13:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2685611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal sees a problem with him sneaking into the Burke house</p>
            </blockquote>





	Street Art Date Night

**Author's Note:**

> Written because it annoys me when extremely smart characters make stupid choices just so that the writers can give them emotional character moments. Not that I don't also like the emotional character moments, but not at the expense of their logic functions.

"Oh, if you don't give him any reason to check in... we're golden." Mozzie suggested.

Neal shook his head. "No, Peter checks my data pretty much weekly. He'll see that I was at his house."

Mozzie deflated, but Neal wasn't ready to admit defeat. "But we can still work this," he said, warming to the idea. "You go in."

Mozzie frowned. "I'm not the safe-cracker here."

"Are you telling me that a genius like you can't learn to crack this? All you need is a sensitive microphone or stethoscope."

"I do have a Russian surplus microphone-slash-thermal-scope that fits into a standard cigar tube!" Mozzie exclaimed.

"Of course you do," Neal replied.

"You mock, but I have used it on three different occasions!" Mozzie countered.

Neal gave him a look, but refrained from further comment. "Anyway, all you have to do is go in, find the safe, and use the microphone. I'll keep Peter and Elizabeth out of the house."

Mozzie nodded, "Okay."

oOo

"Hey Elizabeth!" Neal said cheerfully as she answered the door. "Can Peter come out to play?"

He heard a snort from the dining room as El smiled. "He's almost done with breakfast. Come on in!"

Neal followed her into the house and quickly greeted the eager Satchmo. "Oh, actually, I've got something to ask you too!" He said as Elizabeth began to pour him a cup of coffee. "A friend of a friend gave Mozzie tickets to the new exhibit at the Lancer Gallery."

"For the Street Art show?" Elizabeth's face lit up with excitement.

"Opening night!" Neal confirmed.

"Isn't that outside your radius?" Peter asked smugly.

"Just inside, actually," Neal countered. Then he turned back to Elizabeth and stage-whispered, "though you'll have to tell me what they're showing in the Northeast room."

Elizabeth winked as she handed him his coffee, "I can do that."

"Great! I'll pick you up around five!"

"Wait," Peter's frown alternated between them. "You can't just commandeer my wife tonight!"

"Oh, I'm not!" Neal replied quickly.

"You're not?"

Elizabeth grabbed her own mug and sat down across from Neal. "No, honey, the Lancer's opening is on Thursday!"

"Oh, well that's just fine then!" Peter replied sarcastically.

Fortunately Neal was saved from replying as Peter's cell phone ran, but he exchanged a conspiratorially glance with Elizabeth as Peter began to talk to Jones.

oOo

"Well, I'm off!" Neal declared as Jones entered the Van.

"Oh no, you're not getting out of the Van that easily," Peter countered.

"But I'm taking Elizabeth to the gallery," Neal protested. He noted with amusement the way that Diana's eyes widened.

"I'll do the stakeout," Jones said.

"No," Peter shook his head. "If I don't get out of the Van for date night with El, you certainly don't."

Diana unsuccessfully tried to hide a snort, and Neal affected a hurt look. "Peter, I had this planned days ago, and you always get out of the Van for date night with El."

"Name one time!" Peter replied.

"Two weeks ago, "Neal replied promptly.

"That time last month when we were working the sneaker smuggling ring," Diana chimed in.

"Ooh, the mortgage fraud case right after she did two different weddings in one weekend," Neal added.

Diana's eyes sparkled with mischief as she egged Neal on. "And there was that Saturday-"

"Enough!" Peter complained. "I've half a mind to leave both of you here and take El to the gallery myself!"

"Oh, you should come with us," Neal replied quickly. "I know how much you loved DeCarte's street art exhibit at the Powell last year."

Peter frowned at the memory. "That was the trash can one?"

Neal nodded cheerfully. "Yes, though to call it 'the trash can one' is an insult to the amount of thought that DeCarte puts into each element of his creations."

"I'm sure." Peter gave him the dubious look and Neal knew he had won.

"But I'm sure Mozzie could get you a ticket if you want to accompany us," he offered.

"No!" Peter backpedaled so quickly Neal thought he would actually take a physical step backwards. "No, I'd rather do my job and eat my delicious deviled ham here in the Van."

Neal shrugged, "Your loss!" Grabbing his hat, he quickly slipped out of the van. He flagged down a taxi and as soon as it pulled away he pulled out his phone to text Mozzie.

_WE'RE ON_

oOo

"I've got the list!" Mozzie declared the second Neal entered his apartment.

"And?" Neal asked, loosening his tie.

"And thank you for not letting me sell the Degas." Moz replied seriously.


End file.
